Overcoming Anger & Resentment
I shared this story at the conclusion of an Anger Management class I teach to a diverse group of men. The lesson is universally applicable. Within this class, we explore the concept of a Trigger.
Visualize your body as a weapon, a rifle. Anger can be expressed verbally or physically.
I designed this analogy to encourage using the anger scale method (0-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10), with 0-3 indicating low and 8-10 indicating high anger levels.
Compare bullets fired from a rifle to the release of words or physical actions. Once released, they cannot be undone.
Guns are considered dangerous, yet they’re tools. Before firing, a process unfolds: bullets loaded, magazine inserted, bolt charged, aiming, BREATHING AND RELAXING before moving from safety to fire mode.
Each step involves breathing and a pause, providing time to reconsider. It’s about CHOICE.
In the Marines, accountability for fired bullets is critical. A process called RULES OF ENGAGEMENT exists, escalating based on the threat level.
Everyone has triggers. Rules can’t be altered, each level has significance. Add levels to counter emotions and perceptions.
Imagine a thin line between Love & Hate, then widen it. A thread and a ruler illustrate how crossing takes more time.
Remember this: “Sticks and stones break bones, words hurt and can forever change lives.”
Sticks and stones heal, but the memory of scars can hurt anew, serving as a reminder.
Pause before acting in anger. These levels encourage considering consequences for actions, whether towards oneself or others.
Ask:
1. Who Am I?
2. What’s Your Trigger?
Responses reveal individual triggers. We must introspect and avoid hypocritically causing the same triggers in others.
“Consider whether triggers that provoke anger in us reflect our treatment of others—loved ones, acquaintances, or strangers. Are we deceiving, prejudging, or bullying them? Recognize our flaws before criticizing others’.”
Reflect on thoughts before expressing negativity. “Think about What You Are Thinking About.”
Before uttering negative words, striking, harming, or bullying, think and choose a different path.
THINK… PAUSE…. BREATHE…THINK… PAUSE…. BREATHE…
This sequence helps rationalize decisions, activating the ingrained feeling of Love.
Thank you for reading. The message turned out longer than expected; my passion is sharing Love. Feel free to share your thoughts or experiences with anger and resentment worsening situations.
